No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
