He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
