Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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