if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
