Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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