I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize