I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize