You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
