It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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