if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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