Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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