So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I supernannyed him into submission
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
