just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
