the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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