i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
