his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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