I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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