bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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