WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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