Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
and she was petting her beer can
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
