in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
