i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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