Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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