Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
