Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
As shirtless as possible
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
