So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's official drugs can't kill me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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