i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
