my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
