I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
