So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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