do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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