if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
