It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
