Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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