Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just had sex bonerless
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
