i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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