Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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