I puked a lego.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
