Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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