I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
