$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
