i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
