she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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