What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
