we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Holy sore nipples Batman
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize