It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
