My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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