you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
