i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
