Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
