You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
