I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
