somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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