forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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