We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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