If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
