we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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