I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
