im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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