you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
