Please, let me fuck your mom
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
