can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
