Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm sobbing to NWA
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
