on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
