I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
