I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
