Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
