I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize