If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
