69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
zippers are such a cool invention
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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