found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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