i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
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