I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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