He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i've created a new STD.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
