you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
