she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
